Stop beating yourself up

By Lu Swart

Why do you keep beating yourself up? Negativity isn’t productive, but you can turn it around.



For instance, try throwing yourself a “Hate Party.”

Grab a piece of paper and write down every single thing that you hate about your life. Everything!

Now look at that list. What can you just stop doing, thinking or being? Whatever it is, just stop it.

What’s left on the your list? Decide what you hate the most. What can you do to change it?

Now figure out the steps to change it.


What’s Causing Your Headache?

I once saw a boy hitting his head repeatedly.

I asked him, “What are you doing?”

“Hitting my head.”

“I know you are hitting your head. But why?”

“I dunno. That’s just what I do when I get upset.” Then he said, “I have a headache.”

“Do you know how to stop getting headaches?” I asked.

“I dunno.”

“Quit hitting your head!”

Sometimes it’s just that simple. But not always.


Don’t Let Others Define You

Julie has been struggling to lose weight, but slowly it’s coming off.

One day, Julie and I agreed to go on a lunch walk. First we had to drop something off at her sister’s place, so we decided to do that on our walk too.

When we arrived at her sister’s house, her sister asked where we parked. I told her we walked. She looked at Julie and said, “This is a joke, right?”

Julie said, “No. We walked.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked her sister.

“Well, Julie just doesn’t do things like that. I was surprised,” she replied.

“We’re doing it to tone up as we lose weight,” I explained.

“Oh well. That won’t last long. Julie has always weighed a lot and that isn’t ever going to change.”

I saw Julie’s face fall. Then she mentioned that we had to get going.

Later Julie and I went out for a light lunch. I was dismayed to hear her order a large banana split. She ate her banana split with tears streaming down her face.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

“I am beating myself up because I will never lose weight.”

“No!” I protested. “You are beating yourself up with your sister’s reality. It is only your reality if you allow it to be.”

Are you beating yourself up? Then, quite simply, STOP IT! If you’re doing a self-defeating action, thought or saying, quit it!

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Lu Swart is a Max International & Watkins associate, life coach, motivator, and writer. A happily married mother of four sons and one daughter, her goals are to “make a difference every day of my life, value every minute of my life, live life to the fullest, and do the work I love.”